Why Relationships Fail Without Emotional Space
In the classic film Kramer vs. Kramer, there’s a powerful moment where a man, caught up in his own world, fails to notice that his wife is leaving him. She tells him she’s going, but he’s too busy talking about himself to hear her. It’s only when she physically walks out that he realizes she’s gone. By then, it’s too late.
This scene reveals a fundamental truth: love can’t breathe if we take up all the space. Relationships—whether in marriage, friendships, or even with God—require emotional and spiritual space. When we are too consumed with our own needs, thoughts, and successes, we push others away without even realizing it.
The Secret to Making Space: A Lesson from Kabbalah
This idea isn’t just psychological—it’s deeply spiritual. The Arizal (Rabbi Yitzchak Luria) teaches in Etz Chaim (Sha’ar 1, Anaf 2) that before creation, Hashem’s infinite light (Ohr Ein Sof) filled all existence. To allow the world to exist, Hashem “contracted” His presence in an act called Tzimtzum, creating space (Chalal) for something other than Himself.
This mystical concept is the foundation of existence itself: Even God makes space for relationships. If the Creator of the universe made room for the world, how much more should we be willing to make space for the people in our lives?
Applying This to Our Lives
Strong relationships require:
✔ Listening more than speaking
✔ Prioritizing time with loved ones
✔ Seeing beyond ourselves
Neglecting these things can cause relationships to slip away—sometimes without us even noticing, just like in Kramer vs. Kramer.
If we want stronger relationships, deeper love, and better connection, we need to start making space today. Creating space in our lives—both emotionally and physically—allows others to feel heard, loved, and valued.
